Hey all. Sorry Jamie. I was really upset earlier. But it had nothing to do with you or the air guitar. By the way, please don't make fun of my air guitar, my Daddy spent years teaching me how to play it, and I think I'm REALLY talented ;)

So do you wanna know what happened today?

I was sitting near my locker today when Allysa, Karen, and Kelly passed by. One of them dropped the Greenfield Gazette on my lap. But they kept walking. So I looked at it- and I noticed Max's poem printed up on the front page. Poems usually never get printed on the first page. What? Is there no news at our school?

Then Lorina, and Samatha come walking up the hall, and as they pass by me Lorina says to Samantha, "Did you see my brother's poem? He wrote that when he was in love. Now he's so heart-broken he won't get out of bed." What is going on? Is there some conspiracy against me?

And then Samantha says, "Oh and the way she did it- not hanging up her cell phone, and talking about breaking up with him so he can hear it. How rude!" And that's not the way it happened, right Jamie? Did I actually say I was going to break up with him? He over heard me when I was in a bad mood. He just assumed I was going to break up with him.

So after those two incidences happen, then Sophie comes out of Principal Craft's office talking about Max being really sick, and how she's worried about him. And then they both see me, and give me dirty looks. The Principal of my school gives me a dirty look!!! Am I just imagining all this? Is this really happening? Is Max really sick? He was in school yesterday. What's the deal here? That's why I was so upset. But I feel a little better now. I called Max up, and talked to him the moment I got home from school today because I was sooo upset. He said he stayed home today because he didn't want his poem being published, so he was a little embarressed about it. And didn't want to face people today.

But I think we're still friends. He agreed that he jumped the gun and accused me of breaking up with him. That he didn't hear me actually say the words "I want to break up with Max." But after all this crazy discussion I think he still wants us to be friends. Hopefully he means it, and doesn't act like he's broken hearted in school tomorrow. Anyway, I feel better now that I called him. :) Okay. I'm exausted. I'm gonna watch the tube and eat some popcorn. Jamie, I think we gotta keep searching for our soul mates, cause maybe they're not at Greenfield. Who knows. Later! A.

Uh-ho. April's in a bad mood. :( She ran passed me in tears. I hope it's not the comment about the air guitar. Chow! Jamie

Funny Facts about my Blog Partner: Did you know that April digs heavy metal music? She knows all the words to old Van Halen songs, and even Mettalica songs. But what's crazier- she knows how to play the air guitar!!! She considers herself a headbanger? Do you know why? Because her Dad used to be a regular at Hammerjacks back in the 1980's. And he raised her on heavy metal!!

April- don't hate me :) Luv Jamie

mood: Sleepy, feeling achy. wearing: my yellow pajamas. Wanna see me in them? music: Enrique Iglesias CD- Escape. I've listened to this before while writing in my blog- so I like him!!

Ok, so I talked to Eddie tonight. He actually called me. And he said he apologized if he came on too strong. He didn't mean to. But that he's not sure he's going to tranfer yet or not. That's a relief! I still have more Day-Dreaming time :) Besides- I don't feel so cramped when he's not around. I see what April means by needing her space. Am I not in love with Eddie? Or maybe I just need some space, and to take things slower. I think I am in love, but I just need to do things slower. Yeah, that's it! I mean I can't wait to go on a date with him! I just don't want him holding my hands in the hallways of Greenfield quite yet. But I can't wait to go to dinner with him. or go to the movies. I just hope he takes things slower. And if he doesn't I'll just have to force him to slow things down. Ok. So I don't really know why I'm writing this. I feel kind of delerious. (I'm sure I spelled that wrong). Maybe I'm coming down with a fever or something. I gotta get to bed. But I needed to write my daily ramble! Chat at ya later! Luv Jamie PS I hope I feel better tomorrow. :(

(I like doing these things- gives ya more of a feeling of who I am, I think...) mood: queezy- I can't believe Eddie was at my school today :) wearing: white baby tee with "Pop Star" on it, good ol blue jeans, black socks, no shoes music: Whatever is on MTV 2, Staind was on just a sec ago

Sorry I ended so quickly below. It's just that I was on the pc during a free period, when April ran over to me. She came into the computer lab all out of breath, "I've been looking for you all over the school! Eddie's here!!" I was like "What?"

"Eddie's HERE!! He's with his father, and Principal Craft!!! He's visiting the school."

So we left the computer lab as fast as we could. I don't even remember logging out of this blog. Thank God no one else came behind me and wrote horrible things. That could have been a disaster. We walked down the hall towards Principal Craft's office, and there he was- sitting on the sofa in the front lobby!!! The moment he saw us he stood up. "Jamie! I'm so glad I get to see you!"

As I reached him, he grabbed me, and tried to kiss me. But I moved my head so he kissed my cheek. "Eddie, what are you doing here?"

"I told ya that I missed ya! I'm gonna transfer to Greenfield so I can see ya more!!" He took a few steps away from us. "My, my! The girls at Greenfield sure are prettier then the ones at Guilford High." Eddie grinned.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Eddie, you're transferring here to be closer to me?"

"Yeah Baby!! I wanna see my girl everyday!"

April and I stood there speechless. I didn't know whether this would be a good thing or bad thing. With Eddie here at my school, I would get to spend a lot more time with him. But then he would be like a boyfriend to me- and then what about Toby? Toby would find out about Eddie, and then I wouldn't be able to crush over Toby as easily. I mean like right- I'm walking around holding hands with Eddie, and day-dreaming about Toby. That wouldn't be right. I like it the way things have been recently- Eddie being my @ home boyfriend, and Toby being my @ school crush. It's been fun! Damn. Life is about to change...

Mom's calling me for dinner. Aunt Vicki is actually cooking tonight!
** And "hey" to April- "Start doing some writing!"
** And to my fine readers out there- Talk at ya later! LUV JAMIE

Yeah! April's helping me write my novel ;) And that's okay about not writing in this baby as much as me. I'm gonna take my total frustrations out on this BLOG. Especially since it seems I have a little bit of an audience :) Ok, so where was I?

Eddie... Well he wants me to go out with him this weekend. But most importantly he wants me to go to his home-coming dance next month. Actually, I think it's some sort of Valentines prom. But it would be so much fun because Kristie, Lonnie, and Lonnie's brother Kenny will all be there! And Kenny is the most popular guy at school so we'd be hanging out with the "In" crowd. Well kind of. But Eddie isn't one of the more popular guys at school. Infact, from what I hear he's kind of a reject. I hear it's mostly because of his behavior- not because of his looks. He acts restless, and angry at school for some reason. I'm going to have to find out why.

Hi! This is April Karlow. Yes, Jamie, I'm accepting your invite! But I'm not as much of a writer as you are, so I won't be writing as much as you. Hehe! I guess all kinds of peeps are reading, huh? This is soooo weird, Jamie. What are you getting us into? Jamie gets us in so much trouble sometimes. But I LOVE her :) I wouldn't have lasted this long at Greenfield High without her. Ok. I'm going to test out my pc class skills by adding some pics of me. :) Later! A.

Get this... Allyssa is the editor of our school paper. Ok. So she has a meeting in the commons area- because the classroom where she usually meets was being ocupied by some visiting lecturers. Blah. blah, blah. So we could hear her talking about articles for the paper. Anyway, Max is a writer for the paper. And they have a poetry section where his poems are sometimes published. So he wrote this really sweet poem about April like ages ago. And now Allyssa want to publish it. Well Max insisted she not use it right now. And she askd him why.

"Nobody knows the poem is about April, Max. It's such a beautiful poem." Allyssa insisted.

"Excuse me? Everyone in this room now knows it's about April, and everyone in the whole commons room now knows. No. You can't publish it- it's way too personal." Max cried out. April and I looked down at our books. We started to gather our books- we were going to make a run for the door. When we heard...

"Girls? Hello? April and Jamie?" Allyssa yelled out.

Was she really talking to us? April and I looked at eachother. "Ok- like this is WAY to weird" She whispered. I agreed.

Allyssa walked over to us. "Hi girls, I don't mean to intrude."

"Oh really?" I asked. "This feels really intrusive to us..."

"What do you want, Allyssa?" April bluntly asked.

"Would it be okay if we published that poem that Max wrote about you?"

April rolled her eyes. "You know we're not seeing eachother anymore. But it's his poem. If he wants it to be published- he certainly has the right."

Just then Max joined in our public conversation. "I never said I wanted her to publish it. Infact I don't even know how she got the damn poem- I didn't give it to her." Max insisted.

"I gave her the poem. " April confessed. " A few months ago. I thought it was one of the best. Infact.." April looked right at Allyssa, "I insist you publish it. I still think it' s his best." April nudged me. "Come on- let's go to drama class..."

So we walked away. Leaving the Greenfield Gazette crowd speechless... LOL This has been quite a day. Luv Jamie

I sit here in my computer class. And I'm staring at my Blog :) This is so much fun! I showed my boy Bradlee- he and I keep secrets with eachother all the time anyway.
He's an ice-skater, and a dancer. He has taught me so many cool dance moves- like they do in the Britney and Backstreet Boys videos. But ice-skating is his passion. And if you're curious- yes, he's definitely gay. He and I constantly pass notes about the cuteness of the other guys at school. He teases me about Toby. But his favorite man on campus is Moby, the football player. So I tease him. Bradlee is the coolest guy though- he reminds me of someone who should be going to the school of Performing Arts. I always tease him about being here at Greenfield instead of the Performing Arts High School, but he insists he's better off here. He says that here at Greenfield he gets more of a well-rounded education, plus he stands out like a star here. I guess he's right. There's less competition here when it comes to acting, etc. And he's certainly by far the best and one of the only ice-skaters here.

Back to the Blog. Where does BLOG come from anyway? I'll have to look into that. I've invited April to join in on my Blog. Or maybe start one of her own. She said she'd think about it :)

By the way- I still talk to the King of Yang on the PC! He's still my best online bud!! It's funny- I've been speaking to him for 3 1/2 years now online. And I still haven't quite figured out who he is. I mean- sometimes I'm truly convinced that he's Mark. Mark seems to have some of the same speech patterns that the King has. Then at times I'm convinced that he's my Dad, or Freddie, or even my Mom. And once last year, I was in computer class- and I was almost sure that he was Toby.

I've told the King of Yang so many personal things. Though if it was Toby- he'd act differently around me then he does. And he probably wouldn't have kept the secret going for so long. Infact if he were the King- then around the time he had that break-down he would have been talking to me online about his Dad. Ooops. I'm talking about Toby and his Dad again. I can't get into that right now :) Geez- I hope Bradlee doesn't mention anything about my Blog to Toby, or Samantha or anyone. Bradlee- if you're reading this TELL NO ONE... Luv ya! Jamie

By the way, GO HERE- and watch these video clips :) this website ROCKS!!! lol ;)

mood: restless but happy wearing: pink T-shirt and white sshorts music: Enrique Iglesius- Hero (I luv that song!!!)

Good morning :) It's 3am and I can't sleep. April is sound asleep. She falls asleep so fast. But I lay in bed for hours sometimes. I am going to be sooo tired in school tomorrow. Oh well. But it was WORTH it!!!!!! Betcha wanna hear all about it, huh?

Well... I stood up proudly, in front of Dad, Mom, and Aunt Vicki. While Mark and April were in our garage working on a design for April's deluxe bird hotel and bath. She's so happy about it now. And I think Mark really taught her some wood working tricks. I bet he's gonna be a carpenter. That's what he seems to be leaning towards these days.

I stood there in the livingroom- reading the reasons why I should be able to go out with boys. And my mom, and Aunt Vicki sat there with smiles on their faces. While Dad sat there actually listening to me. He was actually examining every point I made. And then when I was done, he made a few points.

The usual cliche points-
1. Boys only have one thing on their minds and it could be quite dangerous for a young teenage girl to go out with strange boys.
2. That I should be spending more time on my school work and less time worrying about a social life. I'm still too young and there will be plenty of time for that in college.
3. blah blah blah

But his biggest point was that he's concerned for my safety. I can understand that. And I was assuming he'd keep the rules the way they were. And then he smiled, sat me down next to him, and started stating the new rules...

1. Jamie can only go out on dates on Fridays, and Saturdays. BUT we (Mom, Dad, or Aunt Vick) must go with them- drop them off, and pick them up.
2. Jamie's curfew is 11pm (not bad!! It Used to be 10pm!!!)
3. The "date" must be pre-approved ahead of time.
4. The date can only be at public places- malls, restaurants, amusement parks, and possibly movie theatres (depending on the boy).

So this will due for now!! And about Eddie- I'll have to ask Aunt Vicki to approve of him. I know my Mom and Dad won't. Let's see how this will all work out. ;) But for now I'm happy :) And I'm happy that April got her her project done, and is sleeping all soundly. Ok. I'm getting tired too. I think I can fall asleep now. Chat at ya later!!
Luv Jamie

Tonight is the night I have that chat with my Dad. :) I think I'm ready!! I've got to write down my thoughts on index cards so I don't miss a point. This will be like a debate- Should Jamie Watts be able to go on a date at 14 1/2 years old or not? LOL So what do you think? :) What should I say to my Dad tonight? Ah! I'm getting nervious just thinking about this. No. This is NOT the most important thing in the world. I'll survive even if I have to wait. I'll just meet Eddie at the mall, and drag along Lonnie, and Kristie, or even April. Which reminds me- I gotta call her. I think she's coming over today :) Later!

Let's talk about Hayden Porter. Who's that? That's my friend Lonnie's father. And he's like my personal coach. :) Well he tries to be. He wants me to be some big shot woman arm-wrestler. Well I think it's kind of fun, but it's just a small hobby. Anyway, this spring I'm going to go to my first tournament with him!! It will be exciting! I'm not competing- but he is. Last year he was the number one heavy weight arm-wrestler in Maryland!!!! Describe him? He's black, 6'4", and weighs around 250!!! His arms are sooo big- I think they're around the size of my waiste. My waiste is ofcourse small for my size- I think it's 18 or 19 inches right now. Personally I think I'm way too skinny. But oh well. Some people have bigger problems ;) But Hayden's arms are about 25-28 inches around, I think. Don't quote me on that- I'll have to ask him again. But I recall they were bigger than my waiste.

But I like lifting weights. I lift small house hold weights, and Hayden has shown me all sorts of different exercises. I feel bad for him sometimes- Lonnie has absolutely no interest in arm-wrestling, or exercising. But his son Kenny is Guilford High School's star quarterback and he didn't get there by chance- Hayden spent years coaching Kenny to be the best football player he could be. Sometimes they get into mock arm-wrestling tournaments outside on the street, and all the men in the area join in, including my next-door neighbor Freddie. Hayden also coaches Freddie, and you should see the way those two go at it. They wrestle for hours- and then Freddie always falls over- and I mean FALLS flat on the floor. But he's starting to hold his own for at least a few minutes and that says a lot considering he's wrestling Maryland's champion!! Wanna see my muscles?
See my muscles!
See my muscles! This little cartoon of me is soooo cute! A guy named Mick from the UK did this for me!! Isn't that sweet? Ok. Well gotta run. I'll write more later. LUV JAMIE

LOL!! I asked Jeeves, "What is POPULARITY?" and it came up with all sorts of Link popularity sites. Hmmm. I guess that's what counts now huh? Hits? How many hits ya get? That's how popular you are? SAD...

I mean I care about hits. I want people to read me. But at the same time- they do- that's wonderful!! They don't? Oh well :( That won't stop me from writing the story of my life. It's still something great to have for the record, right? Plus it really makes me think about things :)

Now I never really answered that "What is POPULARITY?"" question about High School. And I didn't want to leave you thinking that I want to be popular. Or at least that I think about it constantly. Because I don't. I just want to be myself. Who am I? Well- I'm me- a combo of being a "fashion plate" cause I love fashion. I love clothes. But then I'm still kind of artsy, kind of geeky- I luv web design- see what I'm working on? I'm part tom boy, and part princess. So I care about what others think about me. But... I care more about what I think about. And what I care about. And I hope you'll soon see that in my writing, and see that I'm not really your average spoiled teen. So what is popularity to me? It's something we all have to deal with in life- High School or not. And as long as it doesn't change you from being the person that you really want to be- it can be fun. But it can also get in the way, and be a drag. So use it wisely :) That's how I see it right now in my life.... Enough! Off to another subject. Well- off to bed. It's like soooo late. But school's off tomorrow- it's a holiday!! Happy Birthday Martin Luther King!!! A man after my heart- a man with a DREAM...

What is POPULARITY? Why is it so important? And why is it most important in High School? Hmmm. I mean April and I just started 9th grade last September. We're not the most popular girls at school by far. But we're kind of popular. We have friends, and are invited to parties and stuff. But at our school Samatha rules the hallways. She thinks she's the most popular, but people are starting to get sick of her. Sometimes she takes things too far.
Samatha
And I think people are starting to stand up to her. Especially since Toby is so against her being such a bully. And Tyler- our school bully has become quite a BUD to me recently :) He's helped me out of some major binds.
The other day he was hiding in the boys bathroom when Samantha, Lorina, and a few other cheerleaders snuck in and started writing stuff on the walls. Well they wrote a few rude comments about me. So when they snuck back out- Tyler volunteered to paint the boys bathroom and went right to work in covering everything up. Principal Craft was really confused- Tyler doing charity work? And then Tyler confronted Samantha, and forced her to apologize by bringing us cookies. We acted like we didn't know what she had done- that way she didn't feel caught. Why did we do her that favor? I don't know. I guess that if that didn't happen- we wouldn't feel so close to Tyler. So because of her actions- she kind of helped our POWER. Do you get it? Tyler has as much power as Samantha, and he's on our side. That's kind of kewl!! That makes us feel more POPULAR. Again- here we are back at that phrase... What is POPULARITY?

April just called me. She was crying. Turns out that Max isn't speaking to her anymore since she broke up with him. And they were partners in shop class. They were suposed to be working on a project together. So when April tried to have her little TALK with Max- well he already knew that she was breaking up with him because she was talking to us at the Harbor about him and forgot to hang up her phone after just speaking to him. So he knew everything. So in Shop- he just started his own project and stopped talking to her about the one they were working on together. And evidently he even asked the teachers permission to change partners. So now April has to do it all alone. And she's so clumsy she can hardly put a nail in the wall. I'm not in that class. But I invited her over to my house. Mark, my brother is great at Shop, so he said he'd help her out a little.

I think Mark's developing the HOTS for April. Hehe!! But then again- I know he's madly in love with Samantha. Ofcourse Samantha and Toby are doing quite well these days. Now that Toby... Oh. I've hardly mentioned Toby in this Blog at all. Have I? Now that's a change. If you read my journal- it's "Toby, Toby, Toby" No. I'm not going to get into Toby's father right now. That's way too much history to get into within a two day Blog. But don't worry- I'll have a lot to say about that soon... ;)

Oh well. The Ravens lost. But the Stealers are a good team. I'm glad they won- since they're my 2nd favorite team :) Ok. I found a letter- his most recent one:

Subj: To my secret love
Date: Sun, 18 Jan 2002 5:25:47 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: "Eddie" hoteddie_webidol@excite.com
To: queenofyin@aol.com

Dear Jamie...nah. thats way too formal... Hmmmm...

hey babe, i miss you sooooo much. i miss everything about you. your smile. your hair. those eyes. your tough chick attitude. and that heart of sweetness. yes, i know you melt. i've seen that light in your eyes like when you see puppies and kittens. your beauty shines as big as the sun. and jamie- i know you are my only one. this is sounding like a poem. lol. ya wanna hear my jamie poem?

jamie. jamie. jamie.
you drive me crazy.
i can't live without ya.
jamie. jamie. jamie.
please say maybe.
i really wanna go out with ya.

ok. so i'm not a poet. i'm also a lazy writer. my best charm is in person- when ya see me. i'm just not one of those high tech geeks. i know you are. or at least more so than me. please do me the honor of going to my home-coming dance with me. please? if ya have to beg your father- please do. and i'll help. i'll do all kinds of od jobs around your house 4 your mom. and they could even go if they wanted. well. NOT!!! but i really want you to go with me. so i'm sending this note to wish you luck. luv ya, babe! eddie

Ok. So he's not really a writer. He's 15 years old for goodness sake. And he's a jock. Well kind of. Actually he's more of an artist type. He likes to paint. Well... paint walls. Like Graffiti. But he's really talented. At least I think he is. My friends Lonnie and Kristie go to school with him. They used to have crushes on him before he and I started e-mailing eachother. Now Kristie is really mean about him. But I think Lonnie is more forgiving. She likes me and Eddie as a couple. (plus she gets to spend time with him too when he's with us).

Wanna know the story of how we first met? Click here for that entry in my old journal.
BBL Luv Jamie

Boo- the Raven's aren't doing so well. Come on guys- you gotta make some touchdowns! Wow- just as I'm writing this Lewis makes a touch down!! And you're wondering if a girl really is writing this? Hey- this is Baltimore- we all love our Ravens!!! Plus my Dad is such a football freak- that when he was living at home with Mom she became a football freak too. Now she's as bad as him. Just a minute ago I heard her and Aunt Vicki screaming their lungs off. And Freddie, our neighbor and my brother are downstairs watching the game as well. It's like a regular party! The only reason why I'm up here? Well, Eddie said he'd be on the web at 3pm. So I wanted to IM him. But actually the game is so exciting I'm sure he won't be turning the PC on for a few hours. Oh well. I did send him one of my sexiest pics. I wonder if he'll like it :)

Oh yeah- I was supposed to show you one of his love letters. Ok- I will. But I still have to find a good one. Wow- they're screaming downstairs. I gotta join the party and support our Ravens!!! I'll be back later! SEE YA!!